Break through.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a personal breakthrough session.
This is one of my primary offerings that I've pretty much developed quite a good reputation for offering
back in the early stages when I started life coaching.
No I just won't tell if you foundations are right on what we must become highly effective art if we
want to lead people through breakthrough sessions.
It's not like there's three steps we must follow.
It's not like there's any rules to this.
And in order for us to help a person receive or experience a personal break through all that we need
to be able to do is lead them into a greater degree of insight untruth about what is actually possible
for them.
All right.
I've been on the receiving end of some trainings over the years talking about breakthrough sessions
being four hours long five hours long been process based and all that kind of stuff.
And what I'm going to suggest is that a breakthrough is just the same as a shift in perspective.
Here's the thing and you might be thinking that's no major thing but I've worked with guys in the past
man especially when I was coach an ex military service personnel and many of these guys had been to
doctors and mental health organizations who had labeled them as being depressed and is having post-traumatic
stress disorder kind of like these things are illnesses.
I'm not belittling anyone's experience here but what I am undermining are labels all right because a
second person identifies with a label as the moment that they become absolutely trapped and ensnared
by the label.
All right I'll be picked up that distinction there.
So we never undermine a person's experience because a person's experience is always going to be real
for them.
See my symptoms are real emotions are real things but where emotions come from all right well this is
something that there's a few different worldviews on some people and many psychiatrists would say that
emotions are sicknesses and illnesses and conditions.
I say that emotions are simply the result of the quality of the thinking that we engage in.
Are you with me.
Listen put this idea to the test test.
That's a promise I guarantee you will find that what I say is true regardless of what is commonly believed.
All right so I am working with a number of guys who have been defined as having post-traumatic stress
disorder who were defined as being depressed being anxious being stressed.
Being this being broken what I understood having taken this journey of self exploration and development
and growth myself was that I didn't need to be defined and limited and boxed in by any of these things
for me.
Going back in the years after having terminated my military service the doctors tried putting these
things on me once said Kane Rumsey you have post-traumatic stress disorder Kane Ramsey.
You have anxiety and depression and all that kind of thing and just to give you a little bit of context
here and I shared with you the beliefs that I developed that I wasn't enough that led me to this place
in my life where I wanted to join the army to do something significant with my life.
No I remained in the military for around about nine or 10 years until we decided that I wanted to experience
life on the other side of the fence.
What I didn't understand back there.
What I didn't prepare for was the fact that my identity was pretty much and based upon me being a soldier
and me being a good soldier.
That's all right.
So I pretty much based my confidence upon my ability to do what I was doing well back then.
The problem came the day that I left the Army handed back my identity card and actually handed back
a little bit more than just a bit of plastic a hundred buck my entire identity I to find myself as being
a soldier I find myself on an identity level and by what I did for a living.
Now this is a common mistake that many people make in the same way the gentleman I told you about in
the last video.
The footballer he defined himself as being a footballer.
So guess what happened the day that he wasn't physically able to keep on playing football.
Well that's right.
He entered into this identity crisis anxiety about his future.
He was stressed in the present he felt sad because he was leaving a whole lot of stuff that he loved
doing for many years behind.
All right.
Sometimes we do mourn parts of our past when we go through life transitions.
But here's the thing.
The only constant in life is change if we are not changing or remaining the same and if we're remaining
the same we're not growing.
And if we're not growing or dying we're not learning anything new so life is all about change.
It's all about levels and stages.
We need to work through one stage of life and overcome one stage of life to move up to a higher level.
Most people don't get this all right.
So what's true in the stories that I've already shared.
Very much true in the context of these ex military man's life who I was working with.
Back then they'd come with this identity belief the where soldiers but no they weren't soldiers no they
were just anxious.
No they were just PTSD.
No they were just mental health patients.
Useless worthless broken people.
That was how they'd come no to define themselves and why this was a problem for them was because they
didn't want to be all right.
Think back the levels of consciousness that are shared earlier on many of these guys were operating
at this place a victim.
The weren't victims in the military.
But the second that left the military and the support network that we're used to was no longer there
for them.
They define themselves as being victims.
I have feelings I have an emotion.
Therefore I'm a victim to my feelings.
I have an illness I have a condition I have this I have that.
Now here's a thing.
It might very well be the case that people people do contract conditions and ailments and illnesses
in life.
But the fact of the matter remains that you know it's not what happens to us in life that impacts us
the most is how we choose to react or respond.
I mean one of the greatest examples I could give.
I remember having having two friends that lost limbs and one guy lost a limb in Afghanistan.
One guy that I knew lost a limb in Iraq while serving in the two conflicts.
The first guy ended up getting a big military payout.
When I saw Friend about five years later he had drunk himself to absolute death.
He'd wallowed in self-pity.
He'd become the victim and all he would talk about was himself.
No I'm not undermining the guy's experience here.
But what I am undermining is the way that he responded to his experience.
He decided from that day forth he was going to be a victim for the rest of his life.
And because the military wouldn't take responsibility for him and care for him the way that he wanted
them to because society wouldn't because the doctors and nurses could make him feel better because the
military charities wouldn't continue to keep on giving him cash payout after cash payout after cash
paid for having served his country.
He felt hard done by and any time I spoke to him all I would get was sob story after sob story after
petted after petty party after petty party.
Now it might seem like I'm being a little bit compassionate here but I'm not because as life coaches
it's not about giving people sympathy.
It's about yes and perfectly relating to where there are but sympathy serves no one.
Especially when I was interacting with this other guy at exactly the same time.
And yes he'd lost them as well.
And what he went on to do was he ended up joining the Paralympics as a swimmer and he's won all sorts
of gold and silver and bronze medals.
So here's the thing.
What I'm saying here is we all respond to our life's events.
Definitely.
All right.
Two guys one guy lost a limb and decided that he was a victim.
Then another guy lost a limb too few years later and decided that he was not going to allow this to
become a crutch or a noose around his neck.
He was going to continue to keep on living his life in the way that he always had done perspective perception
how we view ourselves will determine how we go on to act and behave.
So breakthrough is about helping our clients to look at their life circumstances the situations that
they find themselves in from a perspective that perhaps just currently differs from the one that they're
looking through and from if that makes sense.
Guess what happened the second that I informed ex military guy no one who was having his pity party
about war ex military guy number two was doing with his life.
When I say to the military you've always got this culture of competitiveness going on.
So Soldier No one said Well if he's doing it I'm guessing I can do something as well.
And I said yes absolutely I guess that's a real shift in perspective.
No obviously a bit more went on in the conversation than just that.
But what I'm saying is a breakthrough session doesn't have to be something complex.
It's just when we lead our clients through the process of looking at an issue or a challenge that they
perceive themselves as having or a limitation they think they have.
Just looking at this from a slightly alternative perspective realizing that we actually have more options
available to them than what they previously perhaps believed that they did a with me possibly possibly
not.
Don't worry in the next video I'm going to welcome and invite back Karen and I'm going to lead current
through our personal breakthrough session.
I've got no idea what we're gonna be talking about.
I like to go into conversations like this without any agenda whatsoever but I do understand that we're
all going through a process of growth and development and none of us are there yet.
So we all have perceived limitations which means that we can all benefit from personal breakthrough
sessions.
If you've never been on the receiving end of one of these before and if you are a member of ecology
then why not join the personal breakthrough sessions forum and see if you can find one of our awesome
members to take you through our breakthrough session today.
And if you're not a member of ecology then is absolutely fantastic.
I'm going to demonstrate onto Curran how to how to deliver one in the context of a coach client relationship
so these are personal breakthrough sessions.
No real format just a truth based discussion.
We're all going to be doing is asking current questions kind of like how we did before really urging
hard and probing hard and challenging her to look at our life or our current beliefs worldviews perspective
from alternative angles.
That's pretty much it.
So look forward to seeing you again in the next clip.